Fine Mess

That's all I am right now. A mess.

Thursday night I started getting these awful stomachaches. I mean awful. It started when I was at mom and dad's. I went to get them some chinese. And when I got back.. I could hardly stand. I mean I felt really dizzy. So immmediately I headed home.. and the whole drive I was doubled over in pain, and I was sweating like I've never sweated before.

Friday I was still sick.. and Saturday I was feeling better physically, but not emotionally. I was an emotional wreck. Crying at every song that urged any emotion out of me.. Freebird, Myung's Theme (orchestral, from Macross), The Oath (from FFVIII), #41 (Dave Matthews).. just a mess.

Yesterday I felt a bit better.. but today I feel sick again. Everyone around me says it's stress.. which I know it is. About trying to get a job? Yeah a little bit.. but mostly about my dad. It's just so terrible to me.. I can't even wrap my head around it.. all I can do is react. I can feel myself getting sicker just thinking about it. And I don't know what else to do..

I've also got these.. weird bumps on the top of my head. They showed up on Saturday (well I first noticed them Saturday night). They don't hurt unless I touch them..

A fine mess, that's all I am. That's all I'm good for right now.

But.. I do want to thank EVERYone who has dropped me a note or called me or IM'd me with their support. You have no idea how much my heart swells to know we have so many people backing us right now.